A “me monster” is a living, breathing human monster that, by nature, destroys everything around it and often even calls that destruction good.

 “Me monsters” are totally consumed with themselves—their own feelings, thoughts, circumstances, and opinions.  They interpret everything through the lens of their self-centered motives, and therefore, anything and everything is always about them.  They filter out any fact that stands in the way of their opinion and disregard any perspective that has any potential of not fully affirming their demands or desires.

As a result, “me monsters” are easy to spot, well, as long as we aren’t the monster we are looking for!  Ironically, “me monsters” never see themselves as “me monsters” because the monster doesn’t allow it!  The eyes of the “me monster” are incapable of seeing themselves as anything other than a victim and hero.  No matter how obvious the evidence is, anything in the world of a “me monster” that doesn’t meet their standard proves they are a victim, and any success in their world proves they are a hero!

Therefore, the most surprising and complicated truth for a “me monster” to understand is that they are the monster, which makes sense why we so often don’t realize that the “me monster” lives in all of us!!  It’s why it takes the Holy Spirit of God to open our eyes and convict us.  The question then is what we will do when we finally realize the monster we see is not one we are viewing through a window but in a mirror!

Now, in 1 Samuel 22, we see a contrast between a man who responds to the conviction of the Holy Spirit and one who is never even open to it; one who realizes he’s the monster and repents with one who clearly feels he has every right to be a monster!  Specifically,

 1 Samuel 22 contrasts David and Saul's response to the revelation of their own “me monster.”

 The chapter begins with David’s response.

 In the cave of Adullam, David turned from being a faithless and panicked “me monster” to one fully submitted to God as His refuge and King. 

 In 1 Samuel 21, we saw David lie to the Priests in Nob, which will, unbeknownst to him, soon have horrific results. We also saw something genuinely baffling.  David ran to the Philistine King in Gath to try and find refuge from Saul. Neither of these stories are testimonies of a man trusting in God but rather a person who has responded to his circumstances with such faithless fear and panic that he is incapable of making wise decisions.  David literally makes one of the most foolish decisions a person could make.  With the sword of the Philistine hero in hand that David himself killed, he runs to the former home of Goliath and the capital city of the Philistines to seek refuge in the King he has been relentlessly attacking for Saul.  David, who has been credited with killing tens of thousands of the Philistine king’s men, ran to that king for help!  That decision has zero logical rationality, proving he was being driven by his faithless fear and panic rather than the Holy Spirit and truth—a clear sign David’s “me monster” had been unleashed.

Thankfully, however, the Holy Spirit brings the light of conviction into David's heart and mind, and he realizes he is creating an avalanche of destruction because of his “me monster” panic. As a result, David stops listening to the voice of the monster feeding on fear and panic and instead begins to listen to the voice of the Holy Spirit, which leads David to do something incredibly cunning.  David fools the Philistine king and his men into thinking he was completely insane, which to them would have been a clear sign the “gods” had cursed him to be possessed by demons.  In their culture, if you didn’t separate an insane person from society, you risked being possessed by the same demons and curse the gods placed on them.  Furthermore, the Philistines believed if you killed an insane person, the curse and demon(s) would leave the one you killed and transfer to you! Therefore, when the king witnessed David’s behavior, he commanded David to be removed from his presence and tossed out of the city, allowing David to run for his life and regroup!

Later, David reflected on what occurred at the end of 1 Samuel chapter 21 and praised God for rescuing him. At some point, the Holy Spirit of God got ahold of David and said you need to stop listening to your “me monster,” and you need to start seeking me!!  At that moment, David realized what he needed to do, and it worked.  We know this to be true because Psalm 34 tells us it is true.  It begins with a title that leaves us no room for misunderstanding what David wrote.

 “Taste and See That the Lord Is Good. - Of David, When He changed His Behavior Before Abimelech, So That He Drove Him Out, And He Went Away”

 “The title places the psalm in 1 Samuel 21:10–14. Fleeing from Saul, David sought refuge with the Philistine king of Gath, called by his personal name, Achish, but in this psalm by the royal name of the Philistine kings, Abimelech (Gn. 20:2; 21:22; 26:8).”¹⁰Motyer, J. A. (1994). The Psalms. In D. A. Carson, R. T. France, J. A. Motyer, & G. J. Wenham (Eds.), New Bible commentary: 21st century edition (4th ed., p. 506). Inter-Varsity Press.

The titles of the Psalms are significant. Although websites like BibleStudyTools.com don’t include the titles of the Psalms, if you have a print version or use things like the ESV Bible App or website, you will notice all but two of the Psalms in your Bible have a title. They often give us important context that is sometimes very specific.  Psalm 34 is one such example.

 Listen to how David praised God for rescuing him from his own “me monster!”

 1 I will bless the LORD at all times; his praise shall continually be in my mouth. 2 My soul makes its boast in the LORD; let the humble hear and be glad. 3 Oh, magnify the LORD with me, and let us exalt his name together! 4 I sought the LORD, and he answered me and delivered me from all my 5 Those who look to him are radiant, and their faces shall never be ashamed. 6 This poor man cried, and the LORD heard him and saved him out of all his troubles. 7 The angel of the LORD encamps around those who fear him and delivers them. 8 Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him! 9 Oh, fear the LORD, you his saints, for those who fear him have no lack! 10 The young lions suffer want and hunger, but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing. 11 Come, O children, listen to me; I will teach you the fear of the LORD. 12 What man is there who desires life and loves many days, that he may see good? 13 Keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking deceit. 14 Turn away from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it. 15 The eyes of the LORD are toward the righteous and his ears toward their cry. 16 The face of the LORD is against those who do evil, to cut off the memory of them from the earth. 17 When the righteous cry for help, the LORD hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. 18 The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. 19 Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the LORD delivers him out of them all. 20 He keeps all his bones; not one of them is broken. 21 Affliction will slay the wicked, and those who hate the righteous will be condemned. 22 The LORD redeems the life of his servants; none of those who take refuge in him will be condemned. (Psalm 34)

 To many people’s surprise, David’s actions of acting like a crazed demon-filled lunatic were not an act of faithless desperation but a literal cunning and wisely acted-out solution that accomplished precisely what the Lord intended to achieve—David’s freedom. The idea came to David because he listened to the Lord, who said, “Listen to me!”  He knew what to do because he finally stopped listening to the monster and instead cried out to God!

But what was David going to do with this opportunity? Standing before King Abimelech (Achish), David finally realized he had become the “me monster” in his story, and he cried out to God for rescue, and God rescued him. But repentance isn’t about God rescuing us from the consequence of sin; repentance is about us turning from our sinful path and walking in His path!  What happened at the end of 1 Samuel 21 allowed David to change the direction of his life, stop running in faithlessness, fear, panic, and living like an out-of-control “me monster,” and start walking in the Spirit that lived within him!  What happened in that moment was not just an opportunity to be rescued from an incredibly stupid decision to try and find refuge from Saul in Abimelech (Achish), but more importantly, to deal with what led him to do it, an opportunity that two other Psalms show us how David seized it.

So, in this moment of rescue, what will David do? He stands in the presence of a clear opportunity to run to the God who just rescued Him or return to being the monster he had been since he left Gibeah.  Thankfully, here’s what happened,

1 David departed from there and escaped to the cave of Adullam.

Why is it so clear that David going to the cave of Adullam is a good thing? Well, once again, the book of Psalms lays it out for us.  Psalm 57 and Psalm 142 are Psalms that David wrote to let us see what happened in that cave.  David realized he needed to change the direction of his life, but to do that, he had to run to God to work things out with God instead of running to man to try and work things out with man!  He had to stop feeding the frenzy of the ”me monsters” emotional panic and faithless fear by taking his hopelessness to God so he could exchange it for hope; he needed to take his feeling of betrayal to God so he could exchange it for security; he needed to take his panic to God so he could exchange it for stability; he needed to take his foolishness to God so he could exchange it for wisdom; and he needed to take his chaotic pointless running to God so he could exchange it for a focused purpose-filled mission!  Listen to what happened between David and God in the cave of Adullam because it looked nothing like what happened between David and the priests in Nob and David and the King in Gath.

 “Let Your Glory Be over All the Earth. - To The Choirmaster: According To Do Not Destroy. A Miktam [possibly a musical or liturgical term] Of David, When He Fled From Saul, In the Cave.” 1 Be merciful to me, O God, be merciful to me, for in you my soul takes refuge; in the shadow of your wings I will take refuge, till the storms of destruction pass by. 2 I cry out to God Most High, to God who fulfills his purpose for me. 3 He will send from heaven and save me; he will put to shame him who tramples on me. Selah God will send out his steadfast love and his faithfulness! 4 My soul is in the midst of lions; I lie down amid fiery beasts-- the children of man, whose teeth are spears and arrows, whose tongues are sharp swords. 5 Be exalted, O God, above the heavens! Let your glory be over all the earth! 6 They set a net for my steps; my soul was bowed down. They dug a pit in my way, but they have fallen into it themselves. Selah 7 My heart is steadfast, O God, my heart is steadfast! I will sing and make melody! 8 Awake, my glory! Awake, O harp and lyre! I will awake the dawn! 9 I will give thanks to you, O Lord, among the peoples; I will sing praises to you among the nations. 10 For your steadfast love is great to the heavens, your faithfulness to the clouds. 11 Be exalted, O God, above the heavens! Let your glory be over all the earth! (Psalm 57)

 “You Are My Refuge. - A Maskil [possibly a musical or liturgical term] Of David, When He Was In the Cave. A Prayer.” 1 With my voice I cry out to the LORD; with my voice, I plead for mercy to the LORD. 2 I pour out my complaint before him; I tell my trouble before him. 3 When my spirit faints within me, you know my way! In the path where I walk they have hidden a trap for me. 4 Look to the right and see: there is none who takes notice of me; no refuge remains to me; no one cares for my soul. 5 I cry to you, O LORD; I say, "You are my refuge, my portion in the land of the living." 6 Attend to my cry, for I am brought very low! Deliver me from my persecutors, for they are too strong for me! 7 Bring me out of prison, that I may give thanks to your name! The righteous will surround me, for you will deal bountifully with me. (Psalm 142)

 But again, how do we know those Psalms were not just an emotional experience that had no tangible impact on David’s life? How do we know the spiritual retreat in the cave worked?  Well, the proof is always in the pudding; that is, the actions of our life demonstrate whether we learned from our experience or not, whether we got on a different path or not, whether we repented and turned back to following God or returned to feeding the “me monster” in a less obvious way.  It's not that everything in life changes the moment we decide to turn and walk God’s path instead of the path of our “me monster,” but rather that our journey begins to move away from faithlessness into faithfulness, from panic into confidence, from arrogance into humility, from foolishness into wisdom and from sin into holiness!  This is precisely what we see happen in David’s life. 1 Samuel 22 goes on to state,

 And when his brothers and all his father's house heard it, they went down there to him. 2 And everyone who was in distress, and everyone who was in debt, and everyone who was bitter in soul, gathered to him. And he became captain over them. And there were with him about four hundred men.

It would have taken a while for his family to find out he was in that cave, but when they did, they came to him. David was alone in the cave and eventually had to develop relationships with people not only to get food and supplies but also to get word to his family on where he was and, thus, where they needed to be. Ironically, the family that was once put out by his faith in God was now running to him because of it, and he took them in.  There is no sign of contempt or unforgiveness in David.  The monster is at bay!

 Now, some take this further than needed and suggest the rest of the misfits that show up in Adullam were all that David ever led; that is, his government was made up of a bunch of societal rejects with no money or talent. We know for a fact that is not the case.  However, it is very significant that David was willing to turn from his “me monster” self and start serving people; in this case, it’s the most needy people a person could serve!  They had nothing to offer a “me monster,” forming a contrast that can’t be overlooked.  Saul took everyone with talent and enslaved them into his service.  By contrast, God sent high-maintenance, needy people to David for him to lead and serve!  The man who grew up shepherding sheep and later graduated up to being entrusted with thousands of elite Israeli soldiers was now leading an army of 400 people comprised of those who were emotionally burned out and experiencing high levels of anxiety (AKA drama queens!), financially irresponsible (AKA unreliable moochers), and bitter (AKA negative Nancy’s who are skilled at only seeing the bad in everything!).  While Saul led a government and army filled with talented people, David inherited people whose talents were utterly a moot point because their lives were totally upside down from self-inflicted drama!

Furthermore, when it says he became their Captain, the implication is that they formed up as a military unit to defend themselves and committed to follow David as their leader. However, it also means David took on the responsibility of shepherding them.  He would not only lead them as an army to protect themselves and, as we will see later in Samuel, others as well, but also to make sure they were protected and provided for.

 A “me monster” would have instantly run away from what God sent David. Instead, because he had worked things out with God in the cave before anybody showed up, he could give life instead of take it!  David could once again do his job as a shepherd of God’s people because he was being shepherded by the Holy Spirit instead of the selfish emotions and irrationality of his “me monster.”  He could act with wisdom instead of rash foolishness because he was being led by the steady hand of God as opposed to the erratic “me monster” in us all!  Here’s what happened next.

 3 And David went from there to Mizpeh of Moab.

Note:  David’s great-grandmother Ruth was a Moabite.  Ruth and her Jewish husband Boaz were David’s father’s grandparents.  Therefore, the Moabite connection to David’s family was fairly distant, but because of David’s success and fame, it was likely well-known by the Moabites.

 And he said to the king of Moab, "Please let my father and my mother stay with you, till I know what God will do for me."

 Note: David knows he has to protect his family, so he takes them to people who could rightly call them family and have plenty of reasons not to trust Saul.  We also see David’s intention to do nothing unless God directs him!  This is a complete course shift from what had been going on with his “me monster.’

 4 And he left them with the king of Moab, and they stayed with him all the time that David was in the stronghold.

 Note:  Some presume the stronghold is the cave at Adullam, while others believe it must have been something different.

 5 Then the prophet Gad said to David, "Do not remain in the stronghold; depart, and go into the land of Judah." So David departed and went into the forest of Hereth.

 Note:  The fact that God sent a prophet to David demonstrated God was still with David and leading him.  In addition, the fact that David listened is a further testimony that he was no longer being led by his “me monster” and instead fully trusting in the Lord.  He had clearly started walking a different path, and it demonstrated what happened in Gath wasn’t a one-hit wonder and that the Psalms he wrote trying to work out his faithless fear and panic with God were not in vain.  David had truly repented and was living his life very differently than how he first responded to the revelation that Saul would never stop his efforts to kill him.

D. Phillips said it well when he wrote, “What is evident in this brief episode is that David has experienced a spiritual revival. How backslidden he was in his mad flight from Saul, through Nob and to the hometown of Goliath in Gath! But notice now that he expresses his desire to discern God’s will, asking the Moabites to keep his parents “till I know what God will do for me.”¹¹Phillips, R. D. (2012). 1 Samuel (P. G. Ryken & R. D. Phillips, Duguid Iain M., Eds.; 1st ed., p. 376). P&R Publishing.

 The following is a sampling of commentary from various scholars that provide deeper insight into some of the details of this passage:

“His own family joined him, not to support him but for their own safety, and David soon ensured that his parents were sent abroad, out of Saul’s reach … Later chapters will show that David never used this army to attack either Saul or Israelite troops, but this has yet to be seen … It was sensible for him to move into Judah, well away from Saul’s capital city. Judah was his own tribe, and he could reasonably hope that some citizens would be well disposed toward him.”¹²Payne, D. F. (1994). 1 and 2 Samuel. In D. A. Carson, R. T. France, J. A. Motyer, & G. J. Wenham (Eds.), New Bible commentary: 21st century edition (4th ed., p. 316). Inter-Varsity Press.

“… Saul might seek the extradition of David himself from the king of Moab—and might even be granted it—but he was unlikely to try to retrieve David’s family members, nor would such an attempt be likely to succeed. David’s proper place was not abroad, but elusively within his own country, where he could gather native supporters ... 22:1 From seeking to be a refugee in Gath, David returns to being a fugitive in his own country … The presumed location of ancient Adullam is almost exactly halfway between Gath and Bethlehem … David’s family would have been all too aware of that danger. They had no choice. Whether they in fact supported David as king over Saul or not, Saul would never believe them to be loyal to him … That this group of malcontents and outcasts gathered around David in particular may be due to his natural gift for leadership, but it should not be overlooked that his personal history in the battlefield and in Saul’s court made him a natural choice. And the feeling that he had been unjustly treated in Saul’s court would make his leadership attractive to others who felt themselves unfairly treated by the world. It may be that this picture of David as the hero and leader of the marginalized says something about the supporters of Saul and David (“haves” versus “have-nots”; see Brueggemann, 157). But if this were a major concern of the text, it would certainly be a recurring theme, which it is clearly not. We need to be cautious not to place too much emphasis upon it in our analysis of the message of Samuel. David’s early supporters were marginalized persons, but after David came to power, his supporters were the “haves.” And even during his fugitive years, David was quick to marry a wealthy widow like Abigail. Demagogues are usually quick to position themselves as “champions of the marginalized.” David does not seem to have done that … 22:4 David’s prior connections with Moab include an ancestor (Ruth) on his father’s side. Did this influence the king of Moab to act favorably to his request? Or did he rather see political advantage to fostering a rival to King Saul? The rulers who offered asylum to political refugees often had something to gain from supporting the refugee against his sovereign. Since relations at this time between Moab and Saul’s court were decidedly hostile (1 Sam 14:47; see also 1 Sam 27:12), the Moabite king thought he had something to gain from supporting David against Saul. Regardless, this Moabite grant of refuge to David’s parents does not seem to have positively influenced David’s actions against Moab after he became king (see comments on 2 Sam 8:1–2 and Arnold, 494). For this reason, rabbinic and medieval Jewish commentators surmised that this unnamed king of Moab was responsible for the death of David’s parents, and 2 Sam 8 records his revenge. But Rosenberg thinks the silence shrouding the subsequent history of David’s parents may say more about his own problematic relationship to his father Jesse: The father who nearly succeeded in keeping his son shrouded in historical obscurity [1 Sam 16:1–13] is rewarded with an obscurity of his own, and we cannot escape the feeling that a certain coldness or emotional remoteness governs David’s relations with his parents from the earliest days of his public career, or that an even more embarrassing situation governs the traditionary silence on the matter. 22:5David’s next move was dictated by Yahweh through his prophet Gad. He had been staying in “the stronghold” (metsudah). This “stronghold” cannot have been Adullam, which was in the land of Judah, since the prophet told him to leave the stronghold and go to the land of Judah. It was probably some as yet unidentified place in Moab. … In Alter’s view, The most reasonable inference is that after the parlay with the king of Moab, David moves his fighting men from Adullam at the western border of the territory of Judah to an unspecified stronghold, probably in the craggy border region between Moab and Israel.¹³Hoffner, H. A., Jr. (2015). 1 & 2 Samuel (1 Sa 22:1–5). Lexham Press

“… Adullam was about ten miles southeast of Gath, back into the foothills, but further south of Gibeah, where Saul was, than Nob, where David had briefly visited the priest Ahimelech … We will see a little later in this chapter that some benefited from Saul’s reign (see v. 7), but they were not the ones who came to the cave of Adullam. It was the losers, the debtors, the downtrodden, the bitter, those disillusioned with such a kingdom. They were so dissatisfied with Saul that they joined the poor man hiding in the cave of Adullam. How desperate can one be? This was not perhaps the kind of crowd David would have chosen for company, had he a choice. We might say that “not many were wise according to human standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth” (cf. 1 Corinthians 1:26). Rather they were the weak and the despised. “Tax collectors and sinners,” we might say (cf. Luke 7:34). “And he became captain over them. And there were with him about four hundred men” (v. 2b). No longer was David alone, but you could be forgiven for wondering whether he was not better off before he gained this crowd of nobodies. To be captain over this lot was not particularly promising. It was a far worse situation than when Saul had earlier demoted David to “a commander of a thousand” to get him out of his sight (1 Samuel 18:13). Here he had only 400, and they were not exactly crack troops! You will have noticed that we have returned to the idea with which we began. We might ask, who would want to join David in Saul’s world? And here we see the answer. It was those who had nothing to gain in Saul’s world, those who had lost out in Saul’s world, those who were disillusioned with Saul’s world … Moab is listed as one of the enemies of Saul, against whom he had successfully fought (1 Samuel 14:47). Was David hoping to find asylum as a fellow enemy of Saul? While he will craftily employ a tactic a bit like that later (see 1 Samuel 27), his purpose in visiting Moab was different: “And he said to the king of Moab, ‘Please let my father and my mother stay with you, till I know what God will do for me’ ” (v. 3b). Moab might have been Saul’s enemies, but David had family connections. His great-grandmother was Ruth, the Moabite (Ruth 4:13, 18–22). Ruth’s faithfulness bore fruit this day, more than a century later. David’s journey to Moab was family business. He was taking care of his aging parents, getting them out of harm’s way until the shape of the future became clearer … His third movement was prompted by the appearance of a prophet with a word for David: “Then the prophet Gad said to David, ‘Do not remain in the stronghold; depart, and go into the land of Judah’ ” (v. 5a). This is the first, but not the last, time this prophet is mentioned (see 2 Samuel 24:10–19; 1 Chronicles 21:7–19; 29:29; 2 Chronicles 29:25) … God was fulfilling his purpose for David, and for whatever reason that involved David’s returning now to the land of Judah, the land he would one day rule. It was not just a matter of his safety, for it would have been safer to go east, into the land of Moab. In Judah David would encounter Saul’s power again. He would suffer … If you held any hope that Saul would do you good, you would not make your way to the cave of Adullam. The call of the gospel of Jesus Christ is no less radical. It is not at all surprising that not many of those who have great prospects in this world find themselves called into the kingdom of Jesus Christ … Have we forgotten that if you hold any hope that this world will provide you with security and hope, you will not make your way to Jesus? How good it is that he receives the kind of people who came to David in the cave!”¹⁴Woodhouse, J. (2008). 1 Samuel: Looking for a leader (pp. 427–431). Crossway Books.

 However, in stark contrast to what we see in the first five verses is the sadly easy-to-understand horror film created by the “me monster” known as King Saul.

 Instead of repenting, Saul justified and fueled his “me monster” heart right into a horrifically evil-feeding frenzy. 

Now, before we read this passage that reads like a screenplay for a horror film, remember that Saul has been given tons of chances to repent from his “me monster” life!His own son has confronted him on two different occasions about his unfounded desire to kill David (1 Samuel 19:4-5 and 20:32). Before that, Saul’s own military confronted him over his order to kill Jonathan for innocently disobeying one of his commands, that by every evaluation, was completely foolish in the first place (1 Samuel 14:43-36).  However, the most prominent example of when Saul should have woken up and realized he was directly opposing God with his actions was at Ramah.  Saul and the men he had sent before him all ended up uncontrollably rolling around on the ground naked, spouting off words from God, and as such, were unable to arrest David (1 Samuel 19:18-24)!  But, as every good “me monster” does, Saul devoured all the chances God gave him to repent, using them to justify and feed his “me monster” into becoming what is fully revealed in this chapter.

 The story begins with an unambiguous presentation of Saul’s narcissistic paranoia, a classic telltale sign of a “me monster!” (22:6-8)

 6 Now Saul heard that David was discovered, and the men who were with him. Saul was sitting at Gibeah under the tamarisk tree on the height with his spear in his hand, and all his servants were standing about him. 7 And Saul said to his servants who stood about him, "Hear now, people of Benjamin; will the son of Jesse give every one of you fields and vineyards, will he make you all commanders of thousands and commanders of hundreds, 8 that all of you have conspired against me? No one discloses to me when my son makes a covenant with the son of Jesse. None of you is sorry for meor discloses to me that my son has stirred up my servant against me, to lie in wait, as at this day."

 This is CRAZY! Nobody was trying to make David king, and nobody was trying to get rid of Saul. Saul had successfully convinced his government that David tried to kill his wife, who was also Saul’s daughter, and ever since then, they have been energetically obeying every order he gave to find David!  It doesn’t appear anybody escaped with David to help him.  He left Gibeah totally alone!

 Now, Saul is correct in that Jonathan and David made a covenant, but it was never to harm each other or their family (1 Samuel 20:42), not to make David king! Jonathan and David never remotely attempted to overthrow or undermine Saul’s throne!

So, Saul is not just accusing all those serving him of being against him; he is most prominently accusing the most loyal and faithful son he could ever have, Jonathan, of plotting with David to kill him! Saul truly believes David is out setting a trap to kill him, and it's all being done with the support of Jonathan, the son who has clearly demonstrated his unwavering support of his dad in that he chose to serve his dad despite the fact his dad is trying to kill his best friend and covenant brother!  Even though on three different occasions Saul wanted to kill Jonathan’s best friend, Jonathan went back to support his dad, Saul, anyway!  If that’s not loyalty, I don’t know what it is!!  So, the point here is that NOBODY is working against Saul, including David, who indeed had good reason to work against Saul!

Again, R.D. Phillips shed some great light on the passage.He wrote, “… Faithless himself, Saul never imagined that his followers could act out of simple loyalty and honest duty. His only way of appeal was to use better carrots and a bigger stick … Self-pity and fear had totally gripped Saul’s heart: he could be comfortable only if those around him felt sorry for him and entered into his warped conspiracy."¹⁵Phillips, R. D. (2012). 1 Samuel (P. G. Ryken & R. D. Phillips, Duguid Iain M., Eds.; 1st ed., pp. 377–378). P&R Publishing.

As Saul’s narcissistic rant went on, another evil, selfish person spoke up and seized the opportunity.

 9 Then answered Doeg the Edomite, who stood by the servants of Saul, "I saw the son of Jesse coming to Nob, to Ahimelech the son of Ahitub, 10 and he inquired of the LORD for him and gave him provisions and gave him the sword of Goliath the Philistine."

 Notice that Doeg didn’t tell the entire story. By deliberately leaving out the fact that David had lied and manipulated the priests into believing they were doing Saul a favor in helping David, Doeg intentionally let Saul’s “me monster” fill in the blanks.  Now, lest you think I’m throwing Doeg under the bus, the proof of Doeg’s selfish alliance with the monster of Saul gets really clear as the passage continues.

 11 Then the king sent to summon Ahimelech the priest, the son of Ahitub, and all his father's house, the priests who were at Nob, and all of them came to the king. 12 And Saul said, "Hear now, son of Ahitub." And he answered, "Here I am, my lord." 13 And Saul said to him, "Why have you conspired against me, you and the son of Jesse, in that you have given him bread and a sword and have inquired of God for him, so that he has risen against me, to lie in wait, as at this day?"

 Note:  Again, NOBODY is lying in wait to kill Saul!  This entire fantasy is a result of the overconsumption of himself!  Narcissistic “me monsters” always end up here; they always think everybody is out to get them.  The successes and failures around them are never seen objectively but rather as intentional attempts to eliminate them!  This is where Doeg could have spoken up and said, “That’s actually not what happened.”  But Doeg stayed silent.

 14 Then Ahimelech answered the king, "And who among all your servants is so faithful as David, who is the king's son-in-law, and captain over your bodyguard, and honored in your house? 15 Is today the first time that I have inquired of God for him? No! Let not the king impute anything to his servant or to all the house of my father, for your servant has known nothing of all this, much or little."

 Ahimelech assures Saul that David is 100% loyal to him and justifies why he helped him. He essentially says, “I helped David out because you have honored him in your house.  If I dishonored him, I would be dishonoring you, Saul!”   Furthermore, he’s saying, “Today isn’t the first time I sought the Lord for him and blessed him, so why are you suddenly all upset that I treated David as I’ve always treated him?  Why do you now think I’ve betrayed you?”

 Ahimelech is totally innocent, and Doeg knows it, but he continues to stand there and say nothing; he continues to watch the monster encircle his prey. Doeg was enjoying the fact that he had put meat in front of the monster to eat, knowing full well that Saul, the monster, couldn’t help himself!  So, with terrifying predictability, the Bible states,

 16 And the king said, "You shall surely die, Ahimelech, you and all your father's house." 17 And the king said to the guard who stood about him, "Turn and kill the priests of the LORD, because their hand also is with David, and they knew that he fled and did not disclose it to me." But the servants of the king would not put out their hand to strike the priests of the LORD.

 Saul’s men are horrified by what they just heard, so much so that they would not obey his order! This is massive!  You don’t disobey a king, but even Saul’s men understand killing the priests of the Lord would not only be a disobedient act before the Lord but a blatant attack against the Lord!  It's one thing to disobey God; it's an entirely different thing to attack Him!

 But Doeg wasn’t like these men. Doeg wasn’t Jewish; thus, when given a chance to earn favor from Saul, he clearly didn’t care what he was being asked to do to the priests he likely had no allegiance to, much less the God they served. He was ready to rock and roll as long as it increased his status with Saul and fed his monster.

Furthermore, Doeg knew about all this because he was sent to the priests to serve some sort of detainment (1 Samuel 21:7), so this was also a chance for him to strike back at those charged with disciplining him.

As such, Saul's “me monster” unleashes the “me monster” of Doeg and then stands there gloating in malevolent glory as Doeg devours everyone! The Bible says,

 18 Then the king said to Doeg, "You turn and strike the priests." And Doeg the Edomite turned and struck down the priests, and he killed on that day eighty-five persons who wore the linen ephod. 19 And Nob, the city of the priests, he put to the sword; both man and woman, child and infant, ox, donkey and sheep, he put to the sword.

 Even though the priests were OBVIOUSLY innocent, Saul had EVERYBODY, including infants, killed.This is an absolute horror film of the worst kind.  He completely destroyed the priesthood of Israel and their wives and children and thus, in doing so, destroyed the very men God gave the exclusive authority to, to bring the offerings that atoned for their failures to obey the Covenant God gave Moses to govern the Jewish people; the Covenant that clearly stated if they violated without repentance would result in the violent discipline of God!  Ironically, the selfish actions of a “me monster” that devours all those around them eventually devours themselves as well.  The effort to glorify themselves ultimately brings them to a place of destroying their only hope of redemption!

 However, this is where the story makes a surprising shift. It quickly moves us away from the horror of Saul’s actions to the reality of those actions for David.  This was Saul’s fault for sure, but there is no avoiding the fact that it would have likely never happened if David had not lied to the priests!  The chapter finishes this way,

 20 But one of the sons of Ahimelech the son of Ahitub, named Abiathar, escaped and fled after David. 21 And Abiathar told David that Saul had killed the priests of the LORD. 22 And David said to Abiathar, "I knew on that day, when Doeg the Edomite was there, that he would surely tell Saul. I have occasioned the death of all the persons of your father's house. 23 Stay with me; do not be afraid, for he who seeks my life seeks your life. With me, you shall be in safekeeping."

David knew Doeg would tell Saul and he did it anyway!!! At that moment, David was living just like Saul.

D. Phillips provided a great summary of the significance of what just happened.He wrote, “The fact that God had foreordained the death of the priests in his judgment on Eli’s house did not lessen the extent of David’s moral failure. Neither does it lessen our guilt for sin that God sovereignly overrules our affairs for his own purposes. Blaikie urges: … Sin is like a network, the ramifications of which go out on the right hand and on the left, and when we break God’s law, we cannot tell what the consequences to others may be!”¹⁶Phillips, R. D. (2012). 1 Samuel (P. G. Ryken & R. D. Phillips, Duguid Iain M., Eds.; 1st ed., pp. 378–385). P&R Publishing.

It's very likely that David owned up to all he had done while he was in that cave, but that doesn’t stop the consequences. Imagine how David’s heart must have sunk when he heard the news.  David is a brilliant man.  As soon as he heard what happened, he knew full well his manipulative lies had set the priests up in Nob.  If he had been honest about his circumstances and the priests had decided to support him anyway, they would have known full well the consequence, but David didn’t afford them the opportunity.  So ironically, right when you think the challenge about being a “me monster” will conclude with the story of Saul’s monster, it comes at us from the story of David!

“Saul’s brutality at Nob had a result which he did not foresee. One man who escaped the massacre was Abiathar (a future high priest at Jerusalem), who had little choice but to join David. In this way David gained priestly support in addition to the prophet Gad.”¹⁷Payne, D. F. (1994). 1 and 2 Samuel. In D. A. Carson, R. T. France, J. A. Motyer, & G. J. Wenham (Eds.), New Bible commentary: 21st century edition (4th ed., p. 316). Inter-Varsity Press.

“Within the larger context of the book, this event plays a significant role in the fulfillment of Yahweh’s judgment on the house of Eli. But in the narrower context of the ongoing contrast of Saul and David, it depicts the former as the destroyer of Yahweh’s priesthood and the latter as its preserver and protector. The destruction of the priestly center at Nob also paved the way for the permanent location of the temple and priesthood in Jerusalem (see Gordon, 174) … Peterson (115) comments: David now has both a prophet (Gad) and a priest (Abiathar) with him in his wilderness exile, signs of the guidance and protection of God, while Saul, enthroned in Gibeah, is isolated in paranoia and jealousy … 22:22 David here admits his own responsibility. It is one of only three places in the section called the History of David’s Rise where David is guilty of a moral failure; his most serious lapses occur in 2 Samuel.”¹⁸Hoffner, H. A., Jr. (2015). 1 & 2 Samuel (1 Sa 22:20–22). Lexham Press.

In conclusion, unfortunately, all of us probably know people who have a “me monster” as out of control as Saul’s; people who are destroying every relationship in their life and yet somehow blame everybody in their life for the destruction.  It is the personification of evil, and there is literally nothing you can do about it except avoid it, something David will spend the rest of Saul’s life doing.

However, it's what we see in David that should alarm us the most.  In David, we see a story in which all of us have likely already lived at some level and are susceptible to live again, just as David eventually does in 2 Samuel.  Most of us have probably never reached the height of Saul’s evil, nor what David will do later as king, but we have certainly done what David did here.  We have all manipulated others to feed our “me monster,” and like David, likely went on and assumed everything would be ok if we didn’t get caught!  We moved forward, forgetting the law of the harvest not only guarantees we will reap what we sow, but others will reap what we sow in them as well!  The seed we spread with our life doesn’t just land in our garden.  David just learned this truth in a brutally horrific way.  His “me monster” planted the seeds of opportunity that directly led to the priests and their families being brutally killed by the hand of Doeg.  So, the challenge of this passage is as blunt and obvious as it gets.

Challenge:  Are you justifying and feeding your “me monster” or seeking God as your refuge to kill it?  The sooner you turn God in repentance, the sooner you will stop sowing the seeds of destruction and start sowing the seeds of life.

 13 Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy. (Proverbs 28:13)

Discussion Guide

The focus of this week's sermon is identifying and destroying the "me monster" that resides within each one of our sinful natures. The challenge ends with the Biblical admonition to confess and repent of sin as the path away from destruction and toward life.

Questions

• How does "feeling sorry for yourself" quickly turn into self-destruction?
• What happened in David's life that turned him from self-pity to reliance on God?
• How did David's responsibility for the care and safety of the group he was leading and his own family help him to gain a clear mind and make better decisions?
• How does Saul give evidence that self-pity only leads to greater self-pity?
• Why are me monsters disconnected from a rational view of reality?
• When have you been so blinded by your own feelings that you could not see reality?
• What brought you back to a correct view of reality?
• How does taking on responsibility help you to gain emotional and spiritual health?
• What role does serving others (David demonstrates leading as serving) play in killing the "me monster."
• How can our worship become more focused on serving in such a way as to help us to know God better?