How to Overcome Bitterness

Last week, I shared a few scriptures from the book of Proverbs with you concerning the destructive nature of pride.  They are really important proverbs to remember so that we never underestimate the need to battle our pride and arrogance with the truth of who God is!  Solomon wrote,

2 When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with the humble is wisdom. (Proverbs 11:2)

5 Everyone who is arrogant in heart is an abomination to the LORD; be assured, he will not go unpunished. (Proverbs 16:5)

18 Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.  19 It is better to be of a lowly spirit with the poor than to divide the spoil with the proud. (Proverbs 16:18-19)

12 Do you see a man who is wise in his own eyes? There is more hope for a fool than for him. (Proverbs 26:12)

23 One's pride will bring him low, but he who is lowly in spirit will obtain honor. (Proverbs 29:23)

 If Joab and Abner had truly understood the truth in those two proverbs, we would very likely not have seen the foolish events of 2 Samuel 2.

For those who missed last week’s sermon, soon after King Saul was killed, the elders of the tribe of Judah made David their King.  Meanwhile, Abner, the head of Saul’s army, survived the battle with the Philistines that killed King Saul. Afterwards, he got the only surviving son of Saul, Ish-bosheth, and made him king over all the other tribes of Israel.  Ish-bosheth was considered to be a worthless son because he contributed nothing to the house of Saul or to the nation of Israel.  For instance, while the rest of his brothers were all fighting the Philistine invasion with their dad, Ish-bosheth was nowhere to be found.  So, essentially, Ish-bosheth was nothing more than a puppet for Abner.

Eventually, Abner gathered some soldiers and went off to instigate a fight with David’s army.  When Joab, the leader of David’s army heard Abner was marching toward Hebron, he gathered some soldiers to confront him.  However, instead of the two military leaders meeting to figure out how their two Kingdoms could unite against the Philistines, the nation that was threatening Israel’s very existence, they instead ended up committing twelve men to a ridiculous contest of death to try and prove who was a greater leader with a greater army.  To their shock, the contest ended as quickly as it started because all 24 men killed each other at the same time!  As you read that story, you would think the shocking results would have humbled Joab and Abner down and got them thinking straight, but instead, they doubled down on their pride and arrogance and launched out at each other in a full-on battle.  2 Samuel 2:17 says, “the battle was very fierce that day” as men who were brothers, fellow heirs of the covenant God made with Abraham, Isaac, Jacob and later very specifically with Moses and all of Israel at Mount Sinai, ferociously attacked each other with a clear intent to kill each other.  It was an ugly testimony of the truth in the Proverbs that pride and arrogance are guaranteed to eventually walk us right into foolish destruction.  That pointless battle not only resulted in 360 of Abner’s men dying but also 19 of Joab’s men getting killed, as well as Joab’s brother Asahel.  Asahel, who was driven by his pride and arrogance, refused to stop pursuing Abner as Abner fled the field of battle.  In Abner’s defense, twice, he told Asahel to stop chasing him.  Abner, who was well known as one of the fiercest warriors in all of Israel, told Asahel he would kill him if he caught up with him, and that’s precisely what happened.  Abner left Asahel dead on the ground with Abner’s spear thrust all the way through him backward.

The battle finally concluded when Abner gathered some reinforcements and positioned himself on strategic high ground, which made Joab realize the battle he had won at this point would likely be torn from him if he continued his pursuit of Abner.  Both sides finally got humbled enough to stop fighting and go home, but as you will see in a minute, that humility was only a temporary result of the circumstances of the battle.

You would hope that both sides would have realized and embraced the obvious truth that they both had an equal opportunity to keep this entire thing from happening and, thus, that they were both equally at fault for the destruction of life that was caused.    You would hope that both sides understood the disastrous outcome was a direct result of their pride and arrogance, and thus, they repented and forgave one another so that they could find a way to be reunited as the people of God and get focused on their real enemy—the Philistines!  But, sadly, that is not what happened at all.  There was no repentance, and therefore, the promised result of destruction continued, as well as the creation of another horrible and destructive fruit of pride and arrogance—bitterness.  Watch what happens in 2 Samuel chapter 3:

1 There was a long war between the house of Saul and the house of David. And David grew stronger and stronger, while the house of Saul became weaker and weaker. (3:1)

 Instead of uniting to defeat the Philistines, the people of Israel just kept killing each other.   However, David’s army, under the leadership of Joab, so consistently defeated Abner’s army that David’s Kingdom got stronger and stronger, and Ish-bosheth’s got weaker and weaker.  Highlighting the success of David and the tribe of Judah, the author of Samuel writes,

2 And sons were born to David at Hebron: his firstborn was Amnon, of Ahinoam of Jezreel; 3 and his second, Chileab, of Abigail the widow of Nabal of Carmel; and the third, Absalom the son of Maacah the daughter of Talmai king of Geshur; 4 and the fourth, Adonijah the son of Haggith; and the fifth, Shephatiah the son of Abital; 5 and the sixth, Ithream, of Eglah, David's wife. These were born to David in Hebron. (3:2-5)

 Now, ironically, as Abner’s army continued to lose battle after battle with David’s army, Abner was busy making himself more and more influential in the government of Ish-bosheth.  Abner's pride and arrogance were still directing his life and likely played a huge role in his army, which was consistently defeated in battle.  Instead of being focused on leading his army, Abner was focused on increasing and projecting his power and prestige in Mahanaim.  The Bible says,

6 While there was war between the house of Saul and the house of David, Abner was making himself strong in the house of Saul. 7 Now Saul had a concubine whose name was Rizpah, the daughter of Aiah. And Ish-bosheth said to Abner, "Why have you gone in to my father's concubine?" 8 Then Abner was very angry over the words of Ish-bosheth and said, "Am I a dog's head of Judah? To this day I keep showing steadfast love to the house of Saul your father, to his brothers, and to his friends, and have not given you into the hand of David. And yet you charge metoday with a fault concerning a woman. (3:6-8)

Now, before you think Abner is proposing something admirable, you need to stop and look a little more closely at the text. Abner is clearly all about Abner!

Interpreters are all over the place regarding the meaning of Abner’s response, “Am I a dog's head of Judah?”  Note,

In this context, one expects “dog’s head” to be the vilest possible term available, even in the coarse language of a professional soldier. Freedman suggests that “head” is euphemistic for the other end of the dog. Another possibility is that it refers to the sexual organ of the male dog. Quite apart from the possible alternative meaning of “head,” the dog was considered the vilest of unclean domestic animals, alongside the pig. Long (424, 484 n. 52) adds: “To be a ‘dog’ was at best to be insignificant, a ‘dead dog’ less significant still, and a ‘dog’s head’ perhaps worst of all (particularly if ‘head’ is being used euphemistically for the opposing end of the dog.” Anderson (56) reminds us that “[since] sexual promiscuity of dogs is nearly proverbial, Abner’s exclamation is fairly apposite (cf. Deut 23:18 [mt 19]).” But his proposal that “In view of 2 Kgs 6:25, where a donkey’s head denotes the most worthless part of the animal, we propose ‘worthless dog’ as a paraphrase of ‘dog’s head’ ” is unconvincing. Youngblood (836) notes that “Early Jewish commentators (e.g., Rashi, Kimchi) frequently understood the phrase ‘dog’s head’ to mean ‘head/commander over dogs.’ Abner thus accuses Ishbaal of treating him, ‘the commander of Saul’s army’ (2:8), as though he were merely the captain of a pack of dogs (cf. Symon Patrick, p. 347).” Others re-point “dog” (כלב, klb) to “Calebite” (כלבי, klby), which associates Abner with David’s Hebronite partisans (see TN 1 Sam 25:3.c.).1Hoffner, H. A., Jr. (2015). 1 & 2 Samuel (Vol. 2, pp. 200–201). Lexham Press.

However, no matter what Abner meant in his response, the more important thing to note is that Abner doesn’t outright deny sleeping with Rizpah, but rather, he redirects the conversation to his “steadfast love to the house of Saul,” as if all he’s doing is to honor Saul rather than himself.  Abner has the convoluted concept that using Ish-bosheth as his puppet to rule eleven of the tribes of Israel is somehow honoring Saul when, in fact, it was clearly nothing more than a method to gain power and influence for himself.

To no surprise, Abner is infuriated that he is being confronted by somebody he sees as a lesser human being who is indebted to him for his very existence.  Matthew Henry, a British Biblical scholar who lived from 1662 to 1714, noted,

“Proud men will not bear to be reproved, especially by those whom they think they have obliged.”2Henry, M. (1994). Matthew Henry’s commentary on the whole Bible: complete and unabridged in one volume (p. 441). Hendrickson.

However, as revealing as that is to the level of pride and arrogance in Abner’s life, the most prominent testimony is that he genuinely believes himself to be the gatekeeper of God’s will!  Listen to what Abner says next,

… To this day I keep showing steadfast love to the house of Saul your father, to his brothers, and to his friends, and have not given you into the hand of David. And yet you charge me today with a fault concerning a woman. 9 God do so to Abner and more also, if I do not accomplish for David what the LORD has sworn to him, 10 to transfer the kingdom from the house of Saul and set up the throne of David over Israel and over Judah, from Dan to Beersheba." 11 And Ish-bosheth could not answer Abner another word, because he feared him. (3:8b-11)

Abner sincerely believes God’s promise to make David king over all of Israel hasn’t succeeded yet because he, Abner, hasn’t allowed it to happen.  He actually asserts that he is the one who needs to accomplish what the Lord promised to David!  Abner then acted on his complete disgust of Ish-bosheth and, in so doing, made it very clear that Ish-bosheth, and Saul’s name, was nothing more than a puppet in his hands.  The Bible says,

12 And Abner sent messengers to David on his behalf, saying, "To whom does the land belong? Make your covenant with me, and behold, my hand shall be with you to bring over all Israel to you." (3:12)

 That’s as plain as it gets.  Abner could care less about protecting Saul’s name and household; the proof is that he sent word to David to make a covenant with him instead of Ish-bosheth.  Abner clearly asserts the land of the eleven tribes belongs to him. He’s totally throwing Ish-bosheth and Saul’s household under the bus!  Interestingly, David responds with a measure of pride and arrogance that smells of bitterness.  The Bible says,

13 And he said, "Good; I will make a covenant with you. But one thing I require of you; that is, you shall not see my face unless you first bring Michal, Saul's daughter, when you come to see my face." 14 Then David sent messengers to Ish-bosheth, Saul's son, saying, "Give me my wife Michal, for whom I paid the bridal price of a hundred foreskins of the Philistines." 15 And Ish-bosheth sent and took her from her husband Paltiel the son of Laish. 16 But her husband went with her, weeping after her all the way to Bahurim. Then Abner said to him, "Go, return." And he returned. (3:13-16)

 Michal was David’s first wife, but she betrayed him in 1 Samuel 19:17 when she lied to her father Saul, claiming that she only helped David escape because David threatened to kill her if she didn’t.  Given Saul’s insanity and rage, it’s easy to empathize with why Michal did that. Nonetheless, it gave Saul the justification he needed to turn his entire government against the man who had become the hero of Israel!  Eventually, Saul nullified Michal’s marriage to David and gave her away to another man in marriage.  By law, David could never be allowed to be with her again (i.e., Deuteronomy  24:1-4).  David is literally taking another man’s wife, and it never appears that it was because he had any love for Michal, but rather because he was bitter and wanted vengeance!  What a sad scene as this man walked with the wife he loved and powerlessly wept as she was being torn from him and given to David.

However, just as this man was truly powerless to keep his wife, Ish-bosheth was powerless to keep Abner from making arrangements with the leaders of the eleven tribes of Israel that were technically being ruled by Ish-bosheth to give them to David!  The Bible says,

17 And Abner conferred with the elders of Israel, saying, "For some time past you have been seeking David as king over you. 18 Now then bring it about, for the LORD has promised David, saying, 'By the hand of my servant David I will save my people Israel from the hand of the Philistines, and from the hand of all their enemies.'" 19 Abner also spoke to Benjamin. And then Abner went to tell David at Hebron all that Israel and the whole house of Benjamin thought good to do. 20 When Abner came with twenty men to David at Hebron, David made a feast for Abner and the men who were with him. 21 And Abner said to David, "I will arise and go and will gather all Israel to my lord the king, that they may make a covenant with you, and that you may reign over all that your heart desires." So David sent Abner away, and he went in peace. (3:17-21)

So, despite the fact that Abner had a history of being a conniving snake, David is willing to work with him to bring about a peaceful unification of the tribes of Israel under his leadership.  In all that happened, David was wise enough to lay aside his pride and arrogance and take Abner’s efforts at face value. Everyone likely knew Abner was driven by selfish ambition, but David was willing to lay that all aside for the obvious greater good of the unification of Israel.  Whether David had selfish ambition driving him or not doesn’t really matter at this point in the story because the fact remains that God had anointed David to be king over all the tribes of Israel, and until that happened, Israel was never going to be able to prosper as a nation, and worse it stood a serious chance of being totally destroyed!  David was willing to wisely lay aside any bitterness towards Abner for the years he was on the run from Abner and his army so that Israel could be united and prosper as God’s people.

Now, you would think everybody would understand what David clearly understood and, as such, fully embraced the same position.  At this point, the need was overwhelmingly obvious to forgive one another and unite.  But pride and arrogance always lead to foolishness, the greatest foolishness being the cancerous bitterness our pride and arrogance can rationalize that we unapologetically cling to in our lives.  Even though Asahel, Joab’s brother, got himself killed because of his own prideful and arrogant pursuit of Abner, Joab refused to see his brother Asahel’s death for what it was—Asahel’s fault!  As a result, this is what happened,

22 Just then the servants of David arrived with Joab from a raid, bringing much spoil with them. But Abner was not with David at Hebron, for he had sent him away, and he had gone in peace. 23 When Joab and all the army that was with him came, it was told Joab, "Abner the son of Ner came to the king, and he has let him go, and he has gone in peace." 24 Then Joab went to the king and said, "What have you done? Behold, Abner came to you. Why is it that you have sent him away, so that he is gone? 25 You know that Abner the son of Ner came to deceive you and to know your going out and your coming in, and to know all that you are doing." (3:22-25)

Now, in Joab’s defense, Abner had proved himself over and over to be a man driven by selfish ambition; however, before you go suggesting that Joab was being driven by a sincere concern that Abner might be trying to undermine the throne of David, you need to know the truth of the matter is that Joab still blames Abner for the death of his brother Asahel.  Joab has totally disregarded his obvious role in creating the battle that led to Asahel’s death as well as the fact that Abner did all he could reasonably do to try and keep Asahel from fighting him.  In short, Joab’s pride and arrogance gave birth to bitterness that Joab completely justified.  The only thing more devastating to our soul than bitterness is the bitterness we justify and thus entitle ourselves to act on!  Therefore, to no surprise, the Bible makes it clear that what happens next was in no way intended to somehow protect David but rather an action of pure, unadulterated, bitter vengeance.

26 When Joab came out from David's presence, he sent messengers after Abner, and they brought him back from the cistern of Sirah. But David did not know about it. 27 And when Abner returned to Hebron, Joab took him aside into the midst of the gate to speak with him privately, and there he struck him in the stomach, so that he died, for the blood of Asahel his brother. 28 Afterward, when David heard of it, he said, "I and my kingdom are forever guiltless before the LORD for the blood of Abner the son of Ner. 29 May it fall upon the head of Joab and upon all his father's house, and may the house of Joab never be without one who has a discharge or who is leprous or who holds a spindle or who falls by the sword or who lacks bread!" 30 So Joab and Abishai his brother killed Abner, because he had put their brother Asahel to death in the battle at Gibeon. (3:26-30)

 David pronounced judgment on the house of Joab for its unethical and unlawful actions. Ironically, Hebron was also an official city of refuge, meaning that even if Abner was guilty of murdering Asahel—which he wasn’t—Joab still had to go through a clearly defined process to officially declare Abner guilty before he could enact vengeance on him.

David then wisely called the people to mourn Abner’s death, something that had to be incredibly awkward for Joab but was vital and wise leadership by David to try and break the cycle of bitterness and vengeance between the people of Israel.

31 Then David said to Joab and to all the people who were with him, "Tear your clothes and put on sackcloth and mourn before Abner." And King David followed the bier. (3:31)

 A “bier” is “a sort of wooden frame, partly resembling a coffin, and partly a hand-barrow.”3Jamieson, R., Fausset, A. R., & Brown, D. (1997). Commentary Critical and Explanatory on the Whole Bible (Vol. 1, p. 197). Logos Research Systems, Inc.  In other words, in the funeral procession, David walked right behind the body of Abner, demonstrating his highest respect for him as well as a straightforward rebuke of the bitterness that drove Joab to kill Abner unjustly.

 32 They buried Abner at Hebron. And the king lifted up his voice and wept at the grave of Abner, and all the people wept. 33 And the king lamented for Abner, saying, "Should Abner die as a fool dies?  34 Your hands were not bound; your feet were not fettered; as one falls before the wicked you have fallen." And all the people wept again over him.  35 Then all the people came to persuade David to eat bread while it was yet day. But David swore, saying, "God do so to me and more also, if I taste bread or anything else till the sun goes down!" 36 And all the people took notice of it, and it pleased them, as everything that the king did pleased all the people. 37 So all the people and all Israel understood that day that it had not been the king's will to put to death Abner the son of Ner. 38 And the king said to his servants, "Do you not know that a prince and a great man has fallen this day in Israel? 39 And I was gentle today, though anointed king. These men, the sons of Zeruiah, are more severe than I. The LORD repay the evildoer according to his wickedness!"(3:32-39)

David sincerely mourned the death of Abner in the same way he mourned the death of Saul.  There was a sincere love and respect for both men despite all of the selfish ambition and destruction they caused. As such, even though he appears to have acted out of vengeance in the matter of his former wife, Michal, he nonetheless seems to refuse to allow bitterness in his heart towards Saul and Abner.

Now, you and I must know with absolute certainty that we can not justify bitterness in one area of our lives because we refuse to allow it elsewhere. I can’t say with absolute certainty that this is indeed what happened with David, but it certainly appears to be the case. Either way, the theme of bitterness and its ugly results is unmistakable in this passage, and it should make us stop and examine its role in our lives.

The Bible is VERY clear concerning God’s demand that we forgive one another and thus make no room for bitterness in our lives.  It doesn’t mean we have to restore relationships with people who refuse to repent or prove themselves untrustworthy to live in a relationship with us. However, no matter how wrongfully a person has treated us, we are still commanded by God to forgive them and thus reject any rationalization of bitterness.  Make no mistake, refusing to forgive is a rationalization to be bitter—it’s that simple.  As such, listen to how blunt the New Testament is on the subject,

15 but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. (Matthew 6:15)

18 If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. 19 Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, "Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord." (Romans 12:18-19)

13 bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. (Colossians 3:13)

32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. (Ephesians 4:32)

Ok, so the Bible is really clear on just how big of a deal it is that we forgive each other and thus make no room or excuse for bitterness in our lives.  But how do we do that?  How do we successfully overcome something that our hearts can so easily justify, especially when it has to do with somebody who has clearly treated us in a clearly unethical and unjust way?  Well, just as we talked about last week, the way to transform our hearts starts with our minds.  We must base our lives and opinions about our actions and attitudes on the Gospel.  As Paul put it,

2 Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. (Romans 12:2)

So then, what are the key Gospel truths I need to mentally cling to in order to give my heart the ability to truly forgive people, no matter what they have done to me?

The following are three key Gospel truths we need to cling to in order to win the fight against bitterness in our hearts.

The first truth we need to cling to in our battle against bitterness is that,

 God’s forgiveness is genuine. He fully forgave us before we ever imagined repenting and believing in Him!

 Even though we are very much sinful sinners who naturally rebel against the authority of God, Christ nonetheless willfully suffered the horrible consequence of our sin so that we could be wholly and justly forgiven.

8 but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. (Romans 5:8)

10 In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. 11 Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. (1 John 4:10-11)

 God is indeed justified in punishing our sin, but He instead sent Christ to suffer the penalty of our sin for us so that He could justly forgive us and clearly communicate to us that He loves us. If God was willing to pay this price to fully forgive us even before we acknowledged any willingness to obey him, then we can be sure His forgiveness is genuine and complete.

 However, just as forgiveness doesn’t guarantee restoration in a relationship, people don’t go to hell because God didn’t love or forgive them. They go to hell because they haven’t repented and surrendered their lives to Him. Our sins have been forgiven, but just like in any relationship, for us to be restored to God, we must want it enough to repent and surrender ourselves to Him.

Now, this is a key truth to explore a little further because it exposes the truth about forgiveness as God defines it, which leads us to our second key truth.

The second truth we need to cling to in our battle against bitterness is that,

God’s forgiveness is unwavering. We continue to sin even after surrendering our lives to Him, but His grace doesn’t run out!

9 Since, therefore, we have now been justified by his blood, much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God. 10 For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life. (Romans 5:9-10)

 Likewise, the writer of Hebrews wrote,

24 For Christ has entered, not into holy places made with hands, which are copies of the true things, but into heaven itself, now to appear in the presence of God on our behalf. 25 Nor was it to offer himself repeatedly, as the high priest enters the holy places every year with blood not his own, 26 for then he would have had to suffer repeatedly since the foundation of the world. But as it is, he has appeared once for allat the end of the ages to put away sin by the sacrifice of himself. (Hebrews 9:24-26)

 Now, this in NO way means we can live in sin and feel good about it; that is, that we can somehow justify submitting to the desires of our flesh rather than the leadership of the Holy Spirit.Going back to the book of Romans we read,

1 What shall we say then? Are we to continue in sin that grace may abound? 2 By no means! How can we who died to sin still live in it? (Romans 6:1-2)

As a matter of fact, if our lives are a continual testimony of submission to sin rather than the Spirit, it’s because we’ve never actually repented and believed in Jesus and should, therefore, have zero confidence that we are saved!Paul made this clear in various places but none more clearly than in his letter to the church in Galatia.  He wrote,

“… that those who [practice] such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.” (Galatians 5:21b)

However, the fact remains that God’s forgiveness of His children is unwavering because it was completed in Christ, so much so that when we choose to submit to the temptations of the flesh rather than the leadership of the Spirit, it doesn’t change our standing with God, it just changes the experience of the reality we choose to live in—sin and death instead of righteousness and life.It’s why Paul wrote,

10 For the death he died he died to sin, once for all, but the life he lives he lives to God. 11 So you also must consider yourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus. 12 Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, to make you obey its passions. 13 Do not present your members to sin as instruments for unrighteousness, but present yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life, and your members to God as instruments for righteousness. (Romans 6:10-13)

 He was making it clear that God’s forgiveness is final and complete; therefore, we shouldn’t obey God because we fear He won’t forgive us if we don’t, but rather, in honor of the fact that His love is so big that He will never forsake us no matter what; out of complete gratitude and appreciation for what He has saved us from and into, as well as the price He paid to do it!Because He is alive, all who are in Him are alive as well, and therefore, my salvation is not upheld by who I am and what I’ve done or not done but rather by who He is.  He is alive and committed to us even when we choose to run away and rebel against Him.  He stands before the Father as our right to be His children because He loves us and has forgiven us not because of our love for Him but because of His love for us!

The third truth we need to cling to in our battle against bitterness is that,

 Living in God’s love pushes out There isn’t any space left for bitterness to exist if we truly live in an abiding relationship with Him.

22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. (Galatians 5:22-23)

 It’s why Paul prayed this for the church at Ephesus,

 14 For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, 15 from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, 16 that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith--that you, being rooted and grounded in love, 18 may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, 19 and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. (Ephesians 3:14-19)

 The only way we can truly overcome the natural tendency of our prideful, arrogant hearts to justify bitterness is to have it shoved out by the ever-present love of God!If I’m truly being transformed by the love of God, truly living from the knowledge of how He has loved and continues to love me no matter what, then it’s just not possible for me to cling to any kind of bitterness; there’s simply no space in my life to do it!

Therefore, the challenge then is obvious,

Challenge

Are you foolishly claiming to follow Christ while justifying bitterness?  Confess your bitterness for what it is (sin) and start devoting the mental and emotional energy you gave to feeding your bitterness to growing and clinging to how much God loves you.  If you do, you will most certainly see that your ability to feed and cling to bitterness will melt away.

 Make no mistake: bitterness takes effort.  We feed it by refusing to forget what was done to us.  We feed it by rehearsing the offense in our minds.  We feed it by allowing ourselves to celebrate anything we see that might cause the one who harmed us to suffer.

So imagine what would happen when you first agree with God that what you are doing is sin and then devote the mental and emotional effort you’ve put into feeding your bitterness to instead grow in the knowledge of God’s love for you and to worship and obey Him!  It is an absolute certainty that as you are filled with the fullness of God, you will be so filled with His love that you will literally forget how to be bitter!

I hope you know the power and freedom of a life transformed and filled with His love!  It is the dominant effort of my teaching and in my prayers for myself, my family, you, and yours.  There is no more powerful and rich life than one filled and driven by an overwhelming belief in God’s love!