Leadership is Influence
If you’ve ever watched, listened to, or read things written by the leadership guru John Maxwell, you’ve most certainly heard the phrase, “Leadership is influence, nothing more, nothing less.”1https://www.maxwellleadership.com/podcast/your-influence-inventory/#:~:text=John%20C.,that%20everyone%20is%20a%20leader It’s why the capacity of a person’s leadership ability is measured by how many people they can influence and how deeply they can influence them. However, the capacity of one’s leadership has no bearing on the quality of their leadership. The quality of a person’s leadership is measured by how they influence people and what they are influencing people toward. For instance, the capacity and scope of Adolf Hitler’s influence was massive, but the path he influenced people to walk down was nothing short of demonic. So, while we would say Hitler was a massively influential leader, we would also say that the purpose of his influence, that is, the thing he was so good at leading people to believe in and do, was pure, unadulterated evil and thus the quality of his influence was horrific! Therefore, a person’s leadership ability is the measure of the number of people they can influence, the degree they can influence them, how they accomplish that influence, and where that influence takes them!
Now, when it comes to David, Israel’s greatest King, we find a man with remarkable leadership ability. No matter his circumstances, David influenced a tremendous amount of people to love and obey God and do so in deeply significant ways—his life and leadership are still influencing us thousands of years later! When you study the life of David, it’s clear that God anointed David with an extraordinary ability to lead His people and, as such, build a kingdom that shined forth the majesty and goodness of God to the world and ultimately shine that majesty and goodness right to the one who would one day come to save the world—Jesus!
As we will see next week, this doesn’t mean David was perfect. In fact, he fell short of God's holiness in some massively significant ways. Yet, David’s response to his failures demonstrated that he was ultimately driven to know, trust, and obey God, and as such, sincerely worship God and influence others to do the same. In his cry to be rescued from his sinful heart, David said,
13 Then I will teach transgressors your ways, and sinners will return to you. (Psalm 51:13)
My point is that David’s response to being confronted with his horrific moral failures will ultimately prove that what we learn about David’s influence in 2 Samuel 10, that is, the measure of David’s leadership, was not only massive in scope and capacity but also noble and righteous in purpose.
There are three parts to the story in 2 Samuel 10 that highlight the capacity and quality of David’s leadership.
In the first part of the story, we see a testimony of the character of David’s leadership.
David demonstrated sincere kindness and trustworthiness to neighboring kingdoms.
Kindness and trustworthiness were not some sort of bait-and-switch thing for David to use to get people to follow him, but rather truly sincere actions of a man who was ultimately trying to influence people to know and follow God! The Bible reads,
1 After this the king of the Ammonites died, and Hanun his son reigned in his place. 2 And David said, "I will deal loyally with Hanun the son of Nahash, as his father dealt loyally with me." So David sent by his servants to console him concerning his father. And David's servants came into the land of the Ammonites.
Ammon was not a problematic kingdom for Israel to defeat. Therefore, David had no need to kiss up to them in order to protect his kingdom or get something out of them. David could have led his army against Ammon at any point, easily defeated them, and forcibly subjected them to his authority as servants to Israel. Instead, David honored a commitment he had made with King Nahash long before his death, not only by sending people to minister to his son after his death but also by assuring Nahash’s son that he wanted to be a sincerely good neighbor.
“David decided to do some kindness to Hanun on account of his father Nahash, who had shown some unspecified kindness to David, possibly when the latter was on the run from Saul. All we really know about this Nahash is that he was the cruel king of an unbelieving nation. The Ammonites were the descendants of Lot by his incest with his younger daughter (Genesis 19:38). Early in Saul’s reign, Nahash had sought to conquer the Trans-Jordanic Israelite territory of Gilead and had only been prevented from doing so by Saul’s infliction upon him of a crushing defeat under the walls of Jabesh-Gilead (1 Samuel 11:1–11). Some forty years or more on, Nahash was dead and ‘his son Hanun succeeded him as king’ (10:1). It was to this man that David sent an embassy with condolences on the passing of his father.”2Keddie, G. J. (1990). Triumph of the King: The Message of 2 Samuel (pp. 81–83). Evangelical Press.
“Ammon was a small kingdom in Transjordan which had been hostile to Israel during Saul’s reign; Saul had defeated the king Nahash whose death now occurred (see 1 Sa. 11). David, by contrast, had been in alliance with the Ammonites until now. … The Ammonite kingdom was too small to win a war against Israel.”3Payne, D. F. (1994). 1 and 2 Samuel. In D. A. Carson, R. T. France, J. A. Motyer, & G. J. Wenham (Eds.), New Bible commentary: 21st century edition (4th ed., p. 327). Inter-Varsity Press.
However, Hanun’s advisors refused to believe the godly character of David and influenced Hanun to arrogantly reject the kindness of David. The Bible states,
3 But the princes of the Ammonites said to Hanun their lord, "Do you think, because David has sent comforters to you, that he is honoring your father? Has not David sent his servants to you to search the city and to spy it out and to overthrow it?" 4 So Hanun took David's servants and shaved off half the beard of each and cut off their garments in the middle, at their hips, and sent them away.
“David’s messengers were not only turned back but their beards were half shaved off and their garments cut away to an immodest length which, to those sensitive Semites, was an unbearable ignominy (cf. Isa. 15:2; 20:4).”4Merrill, E. H. (1985). 2 Samuel. In J. F. Walvoord & R. B. Zuck (Eds.), The Bible Knowledge Commentary: An Exposition of the Scriptures (Vol. 1, p. 466). Victor Books.
“Among the Israelites, a lush beard was a mark of manliness, and—as suggested by Niditch—constituted an important ethnic, cultural, religious marker, setting them off from the Philistines, who were both uncircumcised and beardless. For Israelite warriors such as Samson, who were in close and hostile contact with the Philistines, to have one’s hair shaved off was not just a dishonor: It removed a vital sign of one’s ethnic, cultural, and religious distinctness from the hated enemies. In 2 Samuel 10, the enemy is not the Philistines, nor are the enemies beardless. So the element of disfiguring a distinguishing social marker is absent. Instead, here it is a question of honor/shame, related directly to manliness, sexual potency, and the attendant trait of prowess in battle. Furthermore, the removal of only half of the beard showed that the person was not just a juvenile, who had not yet developed facial hair, but was a mature male whose identity as such was challenged and dishonored. The cutting off of the garment covering the genital area was also a powerful insult, and one that was an unmistakable challenge to war, a casus belli.”5Hoffner, H. A., Jr. (2015). 1 & 2 Samuel (Vol. 2, pp. 382–383). Lexham Press.
“Hanun set aside any rules of diplomatic courtesy, seized David’s men, humiliated them and sent them packing (10:4), thereby precipitating exactly what he (erroneously) feared David was planning. David reached out in peace; Hanun delivered up ‘an unsought casus belli [i.e. an act precipitating war] and, in the end, an addition to [David’s] empire’. Matthew Henry observes wisely that ‘False men are ready to think others as false as themselves; and those that bear ill-will to their neighbours are resolved not to believe that their neighbours bear any goodwill to them … Unfounded suspicion [indicates] a wicked mind.’ “Before David’s men could be further shamed by having to pass through the towns and villages of Israel on their way to the capital, David sent messengers to tell them to rest up in Jericho until their half-shorn beards had grown. Beards were grown long among the Israelites and David’s concern for the men shows his sensitivity to their proper dignity and self-esteem.”6Keddie, G. J. (1990). Triumph of the King: The Message of 2 Samuel (pp. 83-84). Evangelical Press.
Therefore, it’s understandable if you think something like that would cause David to immediately assemble his army and totally trounce the Ammonites, but that’s not at all what David did. David’s response to Hanun’s arrogant, spiteful actions towards his men was to exercise humility and restraint, which further emphasized the sincerity of the kindness and trustworthiness of David. The Bible says,
5 When it was told David, he sent to meet them, for the men were greatly ashamed. And the king said, "Remain at Jericho until your beards have grown and then return."
“Before David’s men could be further shamed by having to pass through the towns and villages of Israel on their way to the capital, David sent messengers to tell them to rest up in Jericho until their half-shorn beards had grown. Beards were grown long among the Israelites and David’s concern for the men shows his sensitivity to their proper dignity and self-esteem.”7Keddie, G. J. (1990). Triumph of the King: The Message of 2 Samuel (p. 84). Evangelical Press.
However, once again, the Ammonites refused to believe the sincerity of David’s kindness and trustworthiness and, in so doing, massively escalated the situation into something that required David to respond militarily. The Bible states,
6 When the Ammonites saw that they had become a stench to David, the Ammonites sent and hired the Syrians of Beth-rehob, and the Syrians of Zobah, 20,000 foot soldiers, and the king of Maacah with 1,000 men, and the men of Tob, 12,000 men. 7 And when David heard of it, he sent Joab and all the host of the mighty men.
It is key to see that David didn’t respond militarily until the Ammonites escalated the situation by hiring 33,000 soldiers from neighboring kingdoms. It appears that David may have understood Hanun wasn’t in a good place emotionally after his father’s death and was, therefore, exercising patient restraint with Hanun to give him time to come to his senses. However, that patient restraint could no longer be extended when Hanun went and did this! David couldn’t sacrifice the safety and well-being of Israel to give Hanun time to gather himself emotionally. Hanun left David with no choice. David could not allow the Ammonites to amass an army like that, especially one that was mobilizing other kingdoms in the region against Israel, and therefore, David ordered Joab to respond.
This takes us to the second part of the story in 2 Samuel 10, which highlights another aspect of the capacity and quality of David’s leadership. But, before I take you through it, let me quickly remind you that so far, Joab has proven to be a highly talented general and warrior, but he has yet to show any of the character traits of the holiness of God. In 2 Samuel 2, at the pool of Gibeon, Joab was more than willing to foolishly and arrogantly commit a dozen of his men to a worthless contest of death against twelve of Abner’s men that ended up not only getting all twenty-four of those men killed but also resulted in the death of one of Joab’s brothers! Later, in 2 Samuel 3, consumed with bitterness, Joab, who was just as responsible for what happened at Gibeon as Abner, refused to entertain the idea of forgiving Abner or even obeying the law and allowing Abner to defend himself in court, and as such, deceptively murdered Abner in cold blood. The point I’m making is that so far, David’s leadership of Joab hasn’t seemed to influence any godly transformation of Joab’s character, but that’s about to change.
The second part of the story in 2 Samuel 10 that highlights the capacity and quality of David’s leadership is in verses 8-14.
Joab led his men into battle with a faith in God that resembled David’s!
8 And the Ammonites came out and drew up in battle array at the entrance of the gate, and the Syrians of Zobah and of Rehob and the men of Tob and Maacah were by themselves in the open country. 9 When Joab saw that the battle was set against him both in front and in the rear, he chose some of the best men of Israel and arrayed them against the Syrians. 10 The rest of his men he put in the charge of Abishai his brother, and he arrayed them against the Ammonites. 11 And he said, "If the Syrians are too strong for me, then you shall help me, but if the Ammonites are too strong for you, then I will come and help you. 12 Be of good courage, and let us be courageous for our people, and for the cities of our God, and may the LORD do what seems good to him."
Joab and his men found themselves in a terrible situation. They were trapped between two armies—one in front of them and one that was now positioned to attack them from the rear.
Given Joab’s reputation as a military genius, there is no surprise that he quickly realized what was happening and mobilized his forces to win the fight. However, the odds were massively against them, and as such, it presented an occasion to not only see the warrior spirit of Joab but also that he had finally been influenced by David’s trust in the Lord as well! Joab literally just told his men to fight with everything they had for the protection of the Jewish people and their lands but to trust the outcome of the battle to the Lord. Joab, the competitive, driven man who could see no other outcome other than winning, just said if it’s God’s will for us to die in battle, then so be it! So far, we’ve never seen anything like this with Joab!
“The Aramean mercenaries were strategically positioned nearby in the open field, probably out of sight. Their assignment was to attack Joab from the rear once the Israelite army launched a frontal attack on the Ammonites (10:8).”8Smith, J. E. (1995). The Books of History (p. 352). College Press.
“Joab … knew that he had to fight both armies at once, so he divided his forces, taking the best troops under his command to face the Arameans and leaving Abishai with the rest of the army to pin down the Ammonites before Rabbah. Depending on how the battle went, they could reinforce one another (10:9–11). 4. Joab issued a stirring order of the day (10:12): ‘Be strong and let us fight bravely for our people and the cities of our God. The Lord will do what is good in his sight’ (10:12). The ‘cities of our God’ is probably a reference to the trans-Jordanic territories of Israel, through which the Arameans must have passed on their way to Ammon, and which might well be lost to Israel should they lose the battle.”9Keddie, G. J. (1990). Triumph of the King: The Message of 2 Samuel (pp. 86–87). Evangelical Press.
However, it wasn’t God’s will for Joab and the Israelites to lose the battle that day; as a matter of fact, as soon as it became clear that Joab and his men were not going to stand there and wait on the Syrians to attack them, but instead had split their forces to go on the offense against both armies at the same time, the Syrians and the Ammonites ran off the battlefield! The Bible says,
13 So Joab and the people who were with him drew near to battle against the Syrians, and they fled before him. 14 And when the Ammonites saw that the Syrians fled, they likewise fled before Abishai and entered the city. Then Joab returned from fighting against the Ammonites and came to Jerusalem.
Some commentators suggest that Joab’s men started killing mercenaries and Ammonites, but neither the account in 2 Samuel 10 nor the one in 1 Chronicles 19 supports the idea that any actual fighting took place! It truly appears that as soon as they realized the Israelites were clearly there to fight, they tucked tail and ran!
“The Israelites apparently marched into a trap at Rabbah. Joab was forced to divide his army. He quickly selected some of the better units to lead personally against the Arameans. The remainder of the army was placed under the command of his brother Abishai to fight the Ammonites. Joab urged all the troops to fight courageously (10:9–12). While Abishai held the Ammonites in check, Joab took the battle to the Arameans. After a fierce struggle the enemy broke ranks and fled. When the Ammonites saw that their allies had fled, they retreated behind the walls of their capital.”10Smith, J. E. (1995). The Books of History (p. 352). College Press.
“Joab was apparently unprepared for a siege and marched the army home to Israel (10:13–14). The conclusion of the war was to wait for another year (11:1; 12:29–31).”11Keddie, G. J. (1990). Triumph of the King: The Message of 2 Samuel (pp. 86–87). Evangelical Press.
The third part of the story in 2 Samuel 10 that highlights the capacity and quality of David’s military leadership is in verses 15 through 19.
David’s powerful military leadership caused the Ammonite allies to align themselves under Israel.
As soon as the Ammonites saw the Syrians run off the battlefield, they ran back into their city, shut the gates, and tried to act like they didn’t just do what they had just done, that is, hire a bunch of people to form an army to threaten Israel!So, for now (with the emphasis being on “for now”), the Ammonite threat appears to be over. However, the King of the Syrians was embarrassed about what happened with the men he sent to aid the Ammonites. He was probably fearful that word might get around to other nations that his men ran off the battlefield before the fight even started. As such, he decided to escalate the situation. The Bible records,
15 But when the Syrians saw that they had been defeated by Israel, they gathered themselves together. 16 And Hadadezer sent and brought out the Syrians who were beyond the Euphrates. They came to Helam, with Shobach the commander of the army of Hadadezer at their head.
Again, there was no way David was going to sit there and do nothing while one of his neighbors amassed an army that could potentially threaten Israel.As such, the Bible says,
17 And when it was told David, he gathered all Israel together and crossed the Jordan and came to Helam. The Syrians arrayed themselves against David and fought with him. 18 And the Syrians fled before Israel, and David killed of the Syrians the men of 700 chariots, and 40,000 horsemen, and wounded Shobach the commander of their army, so that he died there. 19 And when all the kings who were servants of Hadadezer saw that they had been defeated by Israel, they made peace with Israel and became subject to them. So, the Syrians were afraid to save the Ammonites anymore.
“The Arameans were determined to avenge the earlier defeat at the hands of Israel. Hadadezer assembled troops from several Aramean city states. A strong force assembled at Helam on the northeast border of Israel. The unified command was given to Shobach, the commander of Hadadezer’s army (10:15–16). In response, David mobilized his army and crossed the Jordan. He may have surprised the enemy with this rapid mobilization and deployment of troops. In the battle of Helam again the Arameans fled before Israel. David’s forces killed 700 charioteers and 40,000 horsemen. General Shobach also lost his life in the battle. All of Hadadezer’s vassals then made peace with David. No more did they come to the aid of the Ammonites (10:17–19).”12Smith, J. E. (1995). The Books of History (p. 353). College Press.
The royal butt-kicking David brought against them in battle ended any thoughts they may have of ever helping the Ammonites again! We could talk about all kinds of things here, but the only thing I want to make sure you see today is the capability and quality of David’s leadership. The moment David found out the Syrians were assembling an army, he, without hesitation, organized his army to be able to cross the Jordan, march to Helam, and attack the Syrians before they could threaten the lives of anybody in Israel. To appreciate what David just did, you need to understand that leading an army isn’t like getting your buddies together to go fight a group of guys in somebody’s backyard who have been talking smack about you. Ensuring tens of thousands of men, horses, and camels have enough food and water to sustain their journey and have your men equipped and ready to fight as one army was a serious undertaking of leadership. Throughout history, there are certainly examples of battles that were won by sheer luck. However, the vast majority of military victories have been accomplished by superior forces led in superior ways, and this victory is one of those examples. This was a well-organized smackdown of King Hadadezer’s army, so much so that it caused all the kings who helped Hadadezer to wisely switch their allegiances to David and Israel instead of Hadadezer! The battle was so decisive that there was no doubt in their mind at all who the most powerful leader and nation was in the region. David’s decisive military leadership established him as the most significant leader in the region because his leadership capacity and quality were unparalleled!
So, what does this have to do with us? How does it point to Christ and/or the New Covenant we have in Him? Well, we can see a variety of things in this story through the lens of the Gospel, but the one I want to point out to you today is highly practical and essential to understand for us to be successful in what God has called us to do with Christ!
New Testament Application
As followers of Christ, we are commanded to put forth the effort of our existence to influence the lost world to know the love of Christ and, as such, obediently follow Him (Matthew 28:18-20). However, just as a leader as gifted as David couldn’t convince the Ammonites to believe the sincerity of his kindness and trustworthiness, and just as David had to have wondered if Joab was ever going to live by faith in the Lord, you and I need to know that although we are commanded to intentionally engage those far from God around us with the Gospel, we can’t control the outcome!
Why is that important to know? When you feel like your influence doesn’t matter, you will likely give up. But the fact of the matter is you never really know what your intentional influence will do or when it will do it! However, what we do know is that Jesus very clearly called us to engage the world far from God with the Good News about Him—AKA the Gospel! But Christ also clearly taught us that no matter how faithfully and lovingly we engage the world, we still can’t control the outcome. In the book of Luke, we read,
4 And when a great crowd was gathering and people from town after town came to him, he said in a parable: 5 "A sower went out to sow his seed. And as he sowed, some fell along the path and was trampled underfoot, and the birds of the air devoured it. 6 And some fell on the rock, and as it grew up, it withered away, because it had no moisture. 7 And some fell among thorns, and the thorns grew up with it and choked it. 8 And some fell into good soil and grew and yielded a hundredfold." As he said these things, he called out, "He who has ears to hear, let him hear."… 11 Now the parable is this: The seed is the word of God. 12 The ones along the path are those who have heard; then the devil comes and takes away the word from their hearts, so that they may not believe and be saved. 13 And the ones on the rock are those who, when they hear the word, receive it with joy. But these have no root; they believe for a while, and in time of testing fall away. 14 And as for what fell among the thorns, they are those who hear, but as they go on their way they are choked by the cares and riches and pleasures of life, and their fruit does not mature. 15 As for that in the good soil, they are those who, hearing the word, hold it fast in an honest and good heart, and bear fruit with patience. (Luke 8:4-8 & 11-15)
Now, this is a parable, and parables are typically given to illustrate a single point. Therefore, we need to be careful not to go further than the intention of the one telling the parable—Jesus!
So, let’s make sure we don’t assume things Jesus isn’t saying.
Jesus isn’t saying that if the soil of a person's heart isn’t ready to receive God’s Word now, the soil of their heart will never be in a place to receive it! Sadly, I’ve heard this passage used to teach that grotesquely incorrect assertion, an assertion so unbiblical and illogical that I don’t feel it’s necessary to take the time to explain why I just said it’s grotesquely incorrect!
Jesus also isn’t saying that we are called to scatter the Gospel around as haphazardly as a Sower sows seeds. When they sowed seeds, they typically tossed them up in the air and let the wind scatter them about, thus the parable talks about all the different places the seed can land. However, this isn’t a parable of how we are to carry out the Great Commission. Jesus made it really clear that we are called to go make disciples, which is necessarily done in the context of sincere and deep relationships that begin when a person is NOT a follower of Christ! The 12 disciples didn’t understand the bulk of what Jesus taught, especially the “small matter” of Him repeatedly telling them He came to die for their sins but was going to rise from the grave three days later. Nonetheless, Jesus still relationally poured himself into those men for over three years before they ever got it!
However, this doesn’t mean we don’t preach the Gospel to the masses as He did, nor should we not toss the seed of the Gospel out into the public like an ancient seed sower sowing wheat (e.g., what we do with our social media platforms, partnership with Worship 24/7, etc.). What it does mean is that as we scatter the seeds of the Gospel as Jesus did, we should also be intentional about discipling a small group of people just as Jesus did, and that necessarily should include those who don’t know Him!
But again, this isn’t a parable to teach us a method. The purpose of this parable is for us to realize that no matter how big our leadership capacity is or how awesome our leadership quality may be, Christ's leadership capacity and quality are more significant than any of ours, and more people rejected Him than accepted Him!
When you go back to what we saw in 2 Samuel 10, after years of nothing but kindness to the Ammonites, David likely couldn’t imagine Hanun would respond the way he did to the men David sent to minister to him in his grief. On the other end of the spectrum, after years of banging his head against a wall with Joab, David had to have had a big smile on his face when he heard that Joab had finally demonstrated true faith in God in the leadership of his men! Finally, after seemingly having to fight almost every kingdom in the region and seeing kings like Hadadezer do nothing but double down in their defeats to keep fighting, David likely couldn’t imagine that all the kings who had historically sided with Hadadezer would permanently flip their loyalty to him and Israel.
The point is, sometimes you think soil is fertile, and it turns out to be diseased, and other times you think the soil is worthless, and it turns out to produce more than you could ever imagine. As a guy who considers himself decent at planting and growing things, I would have never imagined the red clay, which I swear makes concrete jealous of how hard it can get, would ever produce anything. Yet, right around the corner from our Dallas Campus is a place called Lineberger Farms. They successfully plant and grow all kinds of things in it!
So, listen, you may think the reason people around you aren’t following Jesus is because you’re not a good enough leader, but the fact of the matter is, you can’t make them follow Christ! However, I will say this: if you aren’t sowing the seed of the Gospel, you shouldn’t expect to see results! People don’t come to know Jesus because we are good people! Being a good dude certainly helps, but my goodness has never, nor will it ever, save anybody—only Jesus can do that! So, the challenge today is very straightforward,
Challenge
Who are the people who don’t know and follow Jesus but call you a trusted friend? Are you sharing the Gospel of Jesus with them or just sharing life experiences with them?
I’m not saying to blow up your friends with a sermon every time you're around them, but what I am saying is that if you believe Jesus is the only way to heaven and you actually care about them, then you will find a way to make sure they hear the Gospel more than once in their life. You may be a nervous wreck trying to share the Gospel, but you can at least invite somebody to church with you. We literally do everything we can possibly do and then learn to do it better so that we can offer worship gatherings to this region that are as engaging as we can possibly make it for those who either don’t know anything about Jesus at all or went to church as a kid, hated it and never went back, without compromising a single ounce of God’s Word as we do it. So, if you aren’t at a point where you feel you can share the Gospel yourself, I don’t want you to stay that way, but in the meantime, how about just bringing people with you to church and doing things friends do afterward—go watch a game and eat some lunch, or go to a park and let your kids play on a playground, or grab a fishing rod and go fishing. Being friends isn’t rocket science, and it doesn’t require attending a conference to learn how to do it!
Therefore, the question is WHO? Who in the lost world calls you a friend, and if nobody does, then start there! Posting stuff about Jesus on your social media is great. Handing out Gospel tracks to strangers is all well and good. But if you’re going to obey Jesus and lead people far from God to become His disciples, then you need to be intentional about building relationships with people who don’t know Him!
For those new to the faith, you may be wondering why in the world we are even having this conversation. Well, the answer is that lots of Christians get super busy with their family and church that already believe in Jesus, and that’s not bad at all, but somewhere along the line, they become disconnected from the world the church is supposed to be engaged with to point to Christ! It happens to lots of believers, including deeply mature believers in Christ. So, this past week, we talked about this as a staff because many of our staff are finding themselves in the same boat. As such, I shared the following with them to encourage them on how to go forward:
Don’t overthink it.
Don’t overplan it.
Look beside you!